


Carbonite

by tinylittlebrain



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Academy runaways, Crew-members Chewie and Finn and Threepio but they sort of want to kill the damn droid, Force bonds (let's be honest), Hibernation sickness, I can't stop myself, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Multi, Renounced Jedi Ben Solo, Rey in Carbonite, Reylo - Freeform, Scoundrel!Ben, Smut, cute nicknames, for sure, gratuitous deactivation of Threepio, the Force works how I say it works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-09-30 11:55:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10162523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinylittlebrain/pseuds/tinylittlebrain
Summary: Smuggler Ben Solo has spent most of his adult life steadfastly avoiding the Force and all the 'destiny' it entails, but all that changes when he and his crew encounter a girl encased in Carbonite in their travels.---tumblr: tinylittlebrain.tumblr.com





	1. Discovery.

Ben had rushed down as soon as the Wookie had commed him about the girl.

_Shit._

They’d... ‘acquired’ three large containers of various contraband, weapons, spice, generally nefarious things his mother would strangle him for but it seemed the Kanjiklub boys must have begun to dabble in the skin trade too.

Ben Solo did not dabble in the skin trade.

It sickened him actually, the very idea that they had the girl and hadn’t realised until now. She was probably starving, probably screaming down there… why hadn’t he felt her in the Force? Why didn’t he–

Then the smuggler stopped dead as he entered the hold.

_Carbonite._

*I thought I’d wait for you on this one.*

Ben didn’t respond. He walked about the girl, her features etched brutally within the silver-like casing. She looked fairly young, though little could be told from outside. He almost reached out and touched her cheek before he realised how monumentally stupid that would look and be.

“Any logs of how long she’d been cased?” He asked, already fearing the answer.

*No.*

“Kriff.”

That wasn’t good. The longer you were under, the greater the hibernation sickness. If the girl had even survived the process.

_Double kriff._

*Should we open it?*

Ben was wondering the same thing. They could open it and she might be too unwell to survive without medical intervention, or they could go to a Core World and risk the fact that she might already be dead, or at the very least be accused of being her traffickers. Hibernation sickness involved memory loss too, so they couldn’t count on her assistance if she did live. In any case, delaying further might finish her off – they hadn’t exactly been careful with storage.

_FUCK._

*You could–*

“I KNOW. I know OK? Obviously that’s what we’ll do. I just… I _hate_ using it!”

*Then hopefully she does not need healing, young cub.*

Ben punched a nearby wall. He’d managed not to use the Force for several years now, and surprise of all surprises his life had stopped going to absolute _shit_ , malevolent kriffing Sith spirits or whatever had stopped interfering in his dreams.

He could feel Chewie’s judgemental gaze upon him.

“ _Fine_. It will be fine. Just… don’t watch me, OK? Go help Finn or something.”

A pause.

*Be brave, young cub. She needs you.* Then he turned and left.

Again, the smuggler eyed the contraption. The release seemed simple enough – just push the button and Luke’s your uncle. Still he mentally readied himself, remembering his mother’s swirling emotions when she had retold Han’s unfreezing to him. Whatever was about to happen, it was no doubt going to be very unpleasant.

Ben pressed the release.

Heat began to suffuse the girl, red hot as the carbonite vaporized before his eyes. Her lips twitched and Ben barely had an instant to notice how pretty she was before she fell forward, into his arms, lifeless and cold.

_Please don’t be dead._

He could not deal with her dying, knowing they’d held her in the hold for so long without even realising. What if they’d stored her wrong? What if she died because of his actions?

But then the girl coughed, gasping, her chest seizing against his. She was drenched, and in seconds her body began to violently shiver. Instinctively, she pulled him closer, pushed her thinly clad body into the warmth she felt. He complied, though it made him feel warmer, if anything.

_Don’t be disgusting._

Yes. Skin trade. Hibernation sickness. _That_ cooled him down.

Still her strength was a good sign. Meant she hadn’t been under too long, though any span of time was really too long, he supposed. The girl’s hair was stuck to her cheek, pressing wetly against his throat, and unthinkingly he tucked it behind her ear.

Instantly, she stiffened.

“Where am I?” She said it demandingly, but a small quaver in her voice gave her away.

“You’re aboard the Millennium Falcon… you’re my guest.” He added.

_Yes, that didn’t sound creepy._

The girl didn’t relax. He was hardly surprised. She’d just come out of Carbonite and into his arms, absolutely dwarfed, and now he’d gone and said something completely disturbing.

 _Smooth._ He jeered at himself.

“I can’t–” She cut herself off, aware he may not be a friend.

“Remember anything?” He tried again, tried to soften his voice. “That’s normal, you have Hibernation sickness from being encased in Carbonite.”

“C-Carbonite.” A violent shiver ran through her.

He decided to use the Force then, just a little, trying to probe if she was injured. But then he felt it.

_Shit, she has the For–_

It was like an explosion. The girl’s own signature smashed against his mind in fear, pushing him out wildly, her thoughts clattering violently against his own. He stopped then, panting.

_Caraya's soul, what the kriff was that!_

But he became aware then that she was feebly trying to push away from him, trying to Force Summon her absent lightsaber. He felt his grandfather’s rattle from his quarters.

_What the– TRAITOR!_

He clamped down on it.

“ _You need to calm down.”_ He spoke.

Force Persuasion now, kriff there would be hell to pay for all of this. But at least it seemed to be working.

“I need to cal– wha– _NO_! Let _go_ of me!” She spoke through clenched teeth, sort of cute, really.

 _And powerful._ To throw him off like that. Perhaps his power _was_ fading, after all.

“Carbonite, if I let you go you’ll probably walk two feet then collapse onto the floor and break an arm. You can’t even _see_ , can you?”

She clenched her mouth shut.

_That’s a yes._

Ben sighed. “Look, you can either let me help you and relax, or let me knock you out with the Force and relax. Either way–”

_KRIFF._

He doubled over, in agony.

Somehow, she managed to knee him in the balls and flee, channelling the Force into her body to supplement her weakness. It didn’t last long though and he watched her trip, struggling to right herself as she ran clumsily down a corridor. He’d need to attend to that… in a minute.

_Ouch._

“WHAT THE HELL MOVE WAS THAT? I’M _RESCUING_ YOU!!!” He screamed out, half in frustration, half to distract from the pain.

He couldn’t let run far he realised. She was more likely than not to kill herself.

_Great. This has been great._

Ben reached out to the Force then, did something he had never wanted to do again.

The girl froze. Stopped dead in her tracks.

“YOU KNOW WHAT, CARBONITE?” He yelled as he strolled to her position, now quite far down the storage bay. “I HAVE BEEN IN SOME PRETTY HAIRY SITUATIONS IN THE LAST TEN YEARS AND NOT ONCE, NOT _ONCE_ HAVE I USED _THAT_. SO THANKYOU. _THANKYOU_. YOU’VE BEEN JUST KRIFFING _BRILLIANT_!”

Ben ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm down. He could feel her panicking and despite her ‘charming’ qualities, he didn’t want to frighten her further. As he approached her, hand still out to exert the Force, he tried to reassure her.

“I’m _not_ going to hurt you.”

 _~FIRST ORDER SCUM.~_ Her words reverberated in his brain.

~ _Only half right, Carbonite.~_

_That rhymed. Nice._

Then he knocked out with the Force, scooping her into his arms in one graceful motion.


	2. Responsibilities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Carbonite:
> 
> Ben Solo discovered a girl encased in Carbonite, but his 'rescue' quickly went awry.

Ben groaned as he lifted the girl up the bay stairs and into the Falcon proper.

_Well, that went well._

He’d terrified the girl, been kneed in the balls and used the Force more times than he could count. Oh and now she was unconscious again. Fantastic.

_And…_

Ben averted his gaze, face reddening.

_Nude._

Basically nude. He hadn’t noticed when she was against his body before but now it was quite clear she was wearing something akin to a white medical gown that was totally saturated and sheer. He suddenly became very aware of where his hands were on her body as he approached the main deck, only to run into–

“Captain, Chewie said–”

_Finn._

The ex-Trooper stopped short, eyes nearly jumping out his skull. From the colour of his cheeks, it seemed he’d noticed their guest’s state of undress too. Unconsciously, Ben held her slightly tighter.

“Finn, please stop calling me ‘Captain’. It’s weird. You know this.”

Finn jumped. “Sorry Cap– _Solo._ ”

Ben glared.

“–Ben, Mr Ben Solo… uh, _Sir_.”

Ben sighed. “Well trooper, it seems I’m using the Force today after all. Would you like me to go in there and break that training myself?”

Finn flinched violently at that.

“Uh, no. No thanks”.

Ben smirked. That had been a little cruel, he knew, but teasing the ex-Trooper was some of the best fun in the galaxy. He jerked his head sideways then, gave the man a look that said “I have a drenched shivering woman in my arms and I’d like to get past you.”

Recognition sparked in his eyes and Finn moved out of the way, trailing behind him and back to business.

“Er… Right. So we scanned the other containers and she was the only er… _live_ cargo.”

“Thank stars for that.” Ben grunted. “Anything else?”

“Um, yeah. One thing. There was this banging in your room a few minutes ago. It stopped though, not sure what it was.”

Ben sighed. “My lightsaber. Remind me to hide it somewhere, she’s a Force Sensitive and the stupid thing seems to like her.”

_Great. I’ll have to wear the damn thing now._

Again, a small squeak from Finn. Like Ben, he too wasn’t all that crazy about the Force, and who could blame him, given what he’d been through in the First Order? They turned the corner and Finn found his voice.

“Where are you taking her, the medbay?”

Medbay. Ben smiled. Finn’s grandiose term for a small bunk where you were least likely to get blood everywhere. It wasn’t a Medbay, it was an indent in a wall.

Ben shook his head. “My room.”

The ex-trooper stopped. “Is that… _appropriate_?”

He flushed. “ _I’ll_ take one of the bunks, you moof-milker!” He snapped. “We should go activate Threepio too. I need to ask him about Hibernation sickness.”

Finn groaned. Ben agreed with him. They’d taken to inactivating the droid lately. They were only a small crew and while he was very useful on-planet, he tended to drive everyone _nuts_ while in space. Luckily, he’d avoided offending the droid by convincing him it was to keep him in pristine condition – which was actually sort of true, because he was that close to tearing him apart after he’d called his mother to let her know he didn’t approve of the people Ben associated with, and didn’t think he’d be reproducing anytime soon. His ears still burnt at the memory.

_Thanks Threepio._

They paused at the door. “ _You_ need to undress her.”

Finn nearly choked. “ _Me?_ Why do we need to undress her at all? Why can’t _you_ do it?”

“Well Threepio can’t! And she’s soaked. She’ll freeze to death in these clothes.”

“That still doesn’t–”

“Because she’s cute OK? I find her attractive. That makes it _creepy_ if I take her clothes off at this point.” He hissed.

Finn glanced at him, then at the girl’s face. “Well, what if I say she’s cute _too_ Solo? What if _I_ find her attractive too? Huh?”

Ben frowned. “I thought you and Poe–”

But Finn cut him off, face almost beetroot. “–Exactly! If I can barely talk to him, what makes you think I can undress a cute girl? I’m _not_ undressing a cute girl! Besides,” He lowered his voice, “she has the _Force._ She might get _into my head._ ”

_Actually, she’ll probably just knee you in the balls._

But Finn continued. “ _You_ found her, _you’re_ the Captain, _you_ undress her.”

“Fine.” Ben gritted out, lungs filling. “CHEW–”

*NOPE! THE CAPTAIN UNDRESSES THE WOMEN – THAT’S WHAT HAN WOULD’VE DONE IF HE WERE HERE.* The Wookie roared.

Well, that was completely unnecessary and disgusting information. Still at least Han wasn’t here at the moment, no doubt he’d have all manner of extremely humiliating advice to give. Also no doubt he was currently driving his mother crazy with his flair for all things embarrassing during their tour. Well, better her than him.

Finn looked at him earnestly. “Did Chewie he say he’d do it?”

Ben sighed, keying in his entry. He lowered the girl onto his large comfy bed. Already his back gave a twinge with the knowledge that it was the only bed he fit in on the Falcon.

“Here.” He grabbed his lightsaber. “Take that out of here and chuck it on one of the spare bunks.”

Finn nearly dropped it. “Sure.” He paused. “Perhaps we should Force cuff her? You know, if she’s hostile and has the Force and all.”

But the Ben shook his head. “No. She’s blind and she thinks we’re FO. Cuffing her wouldn’t help.” He paused. “Besides, I lied to you that time I told you those cuffs were Force cuffs.”

Ben couldn’t help but smirk as he watched a look of horror then outrage play on Finn’s face. They’d been drinking what they came to realise was a _very_ potent Spicebrew, and Finn had had a bit of a spice freakout that for some reason Ben getting high would mean he’d start using the Force and turn to the Darkside. At first, the smuggler had found it really funny, but when Finn wouldn’t calm down he’d told him to bring the ‘Force cuffs’, after which they’d spent the rest of the night high as hell with Finn having to pour the brew down his throat, his aim getting progressively worse.

_Good times._

Finn opened his mouth, then shut it. Trying to think of the words to say but still prevented by his First Order training from swearing. Instead, he improvised, voice low.

“You know what buddy? You can be a real… _General Hux_ sometimes!”

Ben nodded solemnly, trying not to snort at the fact that even in insult Finn couldn’t drop the formal title. Stars he was going to absolutely shit himself if he ever met mother. Still, as Finn stalked off the reality hit him that he was now in the extremely awkward position of having to undress the attractive girl on his bed. And not in a fun way.

Tentatively, he traced one finger along the edge of the fabric that covered her. It was thin, med-grade at a guess. Completely worthless.

_Good._

He seized a knife from his desk. Used the Force actually.

_Fuck._

Not good. He hated how quickly it became second nature. Ben put it down again and reached for it, this time flicking the blade up. Cutting her free of the clothes would be far simpler, and it wouldn’t mean having to hold her while her tried to pull the gown over her arms and head, which knowing him would probably result in some awkward motion with her breasts ending up in his face.

Ben flushed.

_Seriously brain?_

He focused instead on cutting the side seam, realising quickly that if he didn’t want to accidently leave a long knife wound up her torso, he needed one hand underneath the fabric in order to both pull it taut and place his flesh as a barrier to hers. Her leg was cold and smooth.

_Breathe. You’re not a creep. You’re trying to help her. This is purely for medical purposes. You’ve seen naked women before._

Kriff where was the Force when you needed it, he tried to breathe deeply, centre himse–

_The Force! You absolute moron._

He jerked his hands away from her as if he been burnt and immediately ripped the seam with one swift motion of his hand, then the other before a small gesture removed the clothing scraps to the side of the bed. Ok, sometimes the Force had its uses.

_Excellent, now cover her and leave._

But he paused as his hand was on the duvet. The girl was still shivering, the moisture clinging to her body, cold and clammy.

_Shit._

Ben summoned his towel to him and knelt over her, wiping carefully from her face down to her ankles, then carefully manoeuvring her to sit up while he did the same to her back. She was very thin he noted, freckled and extremely tan in some areas and pale as the moon in others. She also had a lot of scars, more than he expected from a Force user around her age, including a long silver burn on her left arm. Even so she was very pretty, he thought, _very_. Beautiful at rest where she had been an absolute nightmare awake. Now he had finished, Ben found himself absently stroking her cheek, before he jerked his hand away and pulled the covers over her.

Still, he was concerned with her low temperature. He got up to retrieve the second duvet from the nearby cupboard and added that too. Then, he collected the sodden rages and binned them, before consulting his wardrobe for _any_ kind of suitable clothing for when she awoke. He settled on his old training robes – they were way oversized of course, but the tunic would basically be like a dress, and it would do for now until they could get on-planet and barter for… whatever she needed, he supposed. He also filled a large pitcher of water for her, ready should she feel thirsty when she awoke.

She was warming up now, shivering stopping, her breathing deeper and easier. For a second, he felt like waiting there, crouched over his chair should she awaken, but–

_That would be fucking creepy Ben._

Yes. He needed to get a hold of himself. Ben shook his head. It was time to leav–

**_Whoosh_ **

“Master _Ben._ Oh it _is_ good to see you. Master Finn told me I was to find you right away and–” the droid’s receptors settled on the girl, “–Oh but my goodness me, that’s _Rey Kenobi_. Granddaughter of Obi Wan! My, my, what is she doing _here_? But then, I recollect I myself first met Obi Wan under similar circumstances, you see–”

But Ben wasn’t listening.

_Rey Kenobi._

Well, that explained the lightsaber.


	3. Fever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Carbonite:
> 
> Despite trying to convince a reluctant Finn otherwise, Ben ends up caring for Rey in his room. Threepio identifies her as Rey Kenobi.

Rey woke with a start, in darkness.

No. Not darkness.

_I’m blind._

Her mind felt very foggy, and she tried to recall the events that had led her here. She remembered waking up, someone holding her. It had been… pleasant. Warm. But then…

_The Force. The First Order._

She sat up then, quested out with the Force, but only to her immediate area. She seemed to be in someone’s personal quarters, her bed was warm and smelt… nice? She wasn’t cuffed, but she was naked. Her body _ached_ , felt like it was covered in bruises, like every part of her had been battered. She panicked then, wondered if that strange man had somehow done this to her with the Force.

_I need to escape._

But how? Rey sensed they were in deep space.

_Clothes. Clothes first._

Yes, one step at a time. She tried to touch around the room, finding fabric laid out on a nearby chair. Large robes of some sort. They’d do. Again, she found she oddly liked the subtle scent that emanated from them.

What next?

A weapon would be handy, and she’d felt a lightsaber before. Dare she attempt to summon it?

No. No that would be foolish. It was probably sitting on someone’s belt. Still, there might be something around here, if she could but fumble around to find it. She stood up fully then, but nearly fell.

_So weak._

She already felt tired. That wasn’t good. Still, she had to move, had to survive. She righted herself, ready to try again when–

**_Woosh_ **

Rey froze. Why hadn’t she sensed anything?

“Greetings Lady Rey. I am C-3PO, human cyborg relations.”

Ah. That was why – it was a droid, though she doubted it was _the_ C-3PO. More likely some kind of trick.

_Talk. He might be useful._

“Er… hi.” She said awkwardly.

“Oh _good_ , you’re able to speak. I’m so pleased. Master Ben was extremely concerned about your vital signs, ordered me to check you twice as regularly as I recommended.” The droid sounded miffed about that.

Rey seized upon it. “Oh. I’m sorry. Are you being mistreated?”

It was a fairly artless approach, Rey knew, but 3PO units were known for their needy personalities and diva-like tantrums.

“Oh good gracious _no_.” He sounded horrified. “What a thing to suggest! I was merely trying to indicate tha– LADY REY! Please release me!”

Rey had been walking towards the unit as he nattered, and now held him trying to find the means to quiet him. She removed his photoreceptors first.

“I’m blind! _Oh_!”

_So am I._

“I’m sorry.” Rey felt guilty. “I promise you’ll be OK.”

She wasn’t going to destroy him, just– the droid went limp– deactivate him.

_Ok, now wha–_

**_Whoosh_ **

The hair on her neck prickled. _Him._

No. This was not a good time. She already felt exhausted from the effort of restraining the droid, felt like she was about to collapse. Nonetheless, Rey stiffened her spine. It was unwise to look like prey, and she could feel the lightsaber nearby… gingerly she tried to–

“Quit that!” The low voice sounded irritated as the saber rattled.

She did. Unable to keep it up regardless. Unable to…

She swayed.

“Woah there.”

Those same arms enveloped her, and she resented how desperately she needed to cling to them. How could a room spin when you couldn’t even see it? Then she heard him nudge the droid with his foot, deep chuckle reverberating in her ears.

“That might be a record, Carbonite. I’ve never seen someone deactivate him so fast.”

“Lemmego.” She slurred.

_Kriff._

Another chuckle. Rey felt herself briefly lifted before he sat her back down on the bed, voice close.

“You’ve got Hibernation sickness, Carbonite. You need to sleep it off. This ship’s not going anywhere fast.”

_Carbonite?_

She could barely _think_ she felt so ill, so warm and her body just hurting everywhere. Why was he still so close to her?

“Let me _go!_ ” She knew she sounded childish, but her head was swimming and it panicked her.

“Er… Rey? _You’re_ holding onto _me._ ”

Oh.

 _Whoops_.

Rey began to unclench her fists, now very aware that this was _his_ room, that the pleasant scent in the room belonged to him. Still, it gave her an idea. A good idea. A slightly illness addled uninhibited idea, maybe, but still, she figured it was worth a try. She allowed one hand to stay in place on his shoulder, the other to slide up to his face and...

She pressed her lips to his, or where the Force told her they should be.

She felt him stiffen then, so she slipped the hand into his hair, pulled it a little. He gasped then and Rey used to opportunity to slide her tongue into his mouth. His body started to relax, tongue responding to hers in kind, arm snaking around her waist to pull her closer to him.

_Good._

Too good, actually. So good that she sort of forgot what exactly the plan had been, sighing a little into him, enjoying the sensation of his large lips over hers. He pulled her onto his lap and stars he was huge, a damn giant. She hadn’t realised that was a thing for her. She ground down then, somewhat excited, and felt him gasp into her mouth. For First Order, he seemed very undisciplined. Would it actually be so bad if–?

_The saber Rey._

Oh. Yes! _That_ was the plan. Of course. Brilliant. Grab the saber, escape the ship maybe take tall kissing boy hostage. It made _perfect_ sense. So simple. Rey reached down then, added a little Force when…

Kissing boy broke the kiss, hand whipping out to stop hers, still panting. “You’ve _got_ to be kidding me Carbonite.”

Rey felt herself smiling goofily. “S’worth a _try._ ” She whined.

He sounded irritated, easing her off his lap and back down to the bed. “What kind of Jedi _are_ you? I mean kriff I thought you Kenobi’s were meant to be all stoic “one-with-the-Force” types – you don’t exactly follow in the family footsteps, do you?”

_Family._

The heat was doused.

No.

She guessed she didn’t follow in their footsteps. How could she when the Jakku sands blew them away as soon as they were laid? She’d never known them, any of them. They didn’t _want_ her. Was that why? Because she was such a failure as a Jedi, because nobody would want…

A sob escaped her.

“Rey, _Rey_! No, no don’t cry. Kriff no I didn’t mean… whatever just made you cry. I’m sorry.” He soothed. “You’re… uh, a _good_ Jedi.”

What an odd thing for someone First Order to say. Funny. She hiccupped then. Hiccupped and laughed, couldn’t stop laughing, almost until she couldn’t breathe her body was so weak and warm from the effort.

“ _Fuck_.”

A cool hand on her forehead.

“Shit Rey, you’re so hot.”

That was forward. “ _Sorry?”_

“I meant fever. You’re so hot you have a fever– I mean you’re hot– _sick_. _SHIT_.” He stopped, breathed. “You’re _sick_ and you have a _high temperature_.”

Rey felt the Force move through her then, pushed back on it.

“Don’t.” She gritted out.

She heard an exasperated sigh.

“Surely it’s a little late to be shy _now_ , Kenobi.” He breathed again. “Your muscles are inflamed, if you let me _heal_ them, you’ll feel better. You’re also going to drink some water, like a _good girl._ ”

Rey bristled at that. “Since when do FO Force Heal?” She spat.

“Carbonite, if your tactic was to kiss the First Order to freedom I’m seriously concerned with the state of training at the Academy.”

“ _You_ didn’t seem to mind!”

_And I’m not letting your nasty kissing boy Force anywhere near me thankyou very much._

A pause.

“Rey, have you ever met General Organa?”

The General. He wanted to know about the General. Her heart hardened.

“I’m not giving you _anything_.” She declared.

A chuckled, bemused. “That’s very noble Kenobi, but not what I asked. If you’ve ever felt my mother’s Force signature, you’ll be able to tell I’m her son.”

Huh? That really didn’t make much sense at all. It actually made a lot of sense right now to sleep, she thought. But then she felt it again then, his Force reaching into her.

“ _Stop_ that!” She pushed away.

“Kriff Kenobi, do I need to say “ _search your feelings padawan_ ” or could you maybe just do as you’re told for two seconds and Force Identify me?”

“ _Fine!_ ” She huffed.

Rey reached up then, tried to find his cheek, not wanting him to know she was too weak to do it without touching right now. His hand found her then, guided it there so gently, hand still resting on hers. The Force flooded her.

Yes, she saw it now, felt it, more like. It was Leia, not Leia, but a lot like Leia actually, even a little bit like Master Luke’s.

 _Ben Solo._ She realised. It had to be.

_~Yes. I’m Ben Solo. Now, will you let me heal you, Carbonite, or would you prefer to go back to the kissing?~_

Oh kriff. She’d kissed _Ben Solo_. The General’s son. The _smuggler._

“The _war hero_.” He corrected, chuckling nonetheless. “Now,” he placed something cold in her hands, tone suddenly business-like, “you drink this, and I heal you.” He paused. “Can you at least follow _that_ command Kenobi?”

But Rey was frozen, mortified.

Ben sighed. “ _Relax_ , Rey. You have the highest fever I’ve _ever_ seen and Threepio will drug you once we’re done. Once you wake up you’ll probably think you were dreaming about kissing me, which you were probably going to dream about anyway.”

Rey snorted at his arrogance, but felt herself ease a little.

He– _Ben_ continued. “Either way, I don’t think it counts as any kind of Jedi vow breaking.”

Rey nodded, gulping down the cool liquid. She could feel her muscles soothing as Ben’s Force traced through her.

Stars, it felt _so_ good.

Rey breathed in, then seized upon an errant thought as a sweet aroma once again flooded her nostrils.

“So… technically… we can kiss again… _before_ I sleep?” Her tone was hopeful.

Sober Rey would _not_ be pleased. She was a bit of a drag sometimes.

She heard him suck in a sharp breath, but no kiss came.

Instead, Ben spoke, his tone amused. “You’re a _mess_ , Carbonite, _go to sleep_.”

_But…_

“ _Go to sleep._ ”

Fine.

_Spoilsport._


	4. Distractions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Carbonite:
> 
> A feverish Rey turns out to be almost too much for Ben to handle, but eventually he's able to convince her of his identity.

Ben bumped into Finn just after he had reassembled Threepio.

“Hey Cap– Ben, how’d it go?”

_Oh great, just great. First we made out, then she tried to rob me, then I made her cry, then she cackled like a maniac, then I realised she was basically delusional and then she tried to kiss me again. So pretty much my parents’ marriage but condensed into half an hour, because I’m efficient like that._

But instead he shrugged. “Good.”

“Good?” Finn looked confused.

“Good as in I don’t think she’s going to try to murder anyone in the crew again, although she may dismantle Threepio.”

Finn grinned at that. “So… we’re keeping her?”

For a second, Ben allowed himself to indulge that thought, that perhaps he could come into his room and a not totally delirious Rey would be on his bed, this time wearing his smugglers vest and licking her lips…

_Get a hold of yourself Solo. The girl has the Force. That would be a monumentally terrible idea. A Han idea._

He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I should probably contact uncle Luke, but I think I’ll wait until she’s more conscious for that.”

_She doesn’t seem like she’s Academy material._

At least, she wouldn’t have been when _he_ was her age.

He knew a little about her now from Threepio - dumped on Jakku by her apparently First Order parents, hidden from the Purge but perhaps resigned to a fate far worse, eking out lonely and frankly wretched existence in the sand until she’d hitched a lift with Poe, of all people. Ben couldn’t say he liked _that_ about her. It all reeked heavily of the Force, this much coincidence, and he didn’t enjoy getting caught in those threads. Still the Force attempting to set him up with Rey Kenobi was an improvement over crusty Sith overlords.

A _vast_ improvement.

“Solo, are you OK?” Finn interjected.

“What? Oh, yes. Sorry the Force gives me a bit of a headache and I didn’t sleep very well.”

Or at all really. The voices had come back, whispered tempting promises to him, tried to stroke his ego, tried to tear his mind apart. It had been more effort than he remembered, mainly because he’d had to clamp down on any recollection of Rey, lest his traitorous brain direct them to this new weakness.

“Yeah, I noticed. Are you going to be able move her out of your room soon? You’re kind of a guy that needs sleep.” 

He hadn’t really thought about that, but Finn was right, he wasn’t great without sleep. Wasn’t great _with_ sleep and he couldn’t really sleep in the communal bunk area now that he’d used the Force, or else no one else would sleep. And again, the nightmares were returning, bound to continue. Still, he could hardly dump a young woman in a communal bunk space. Women needed privacy. His mother had drummed that into him.

“I don’t know. Maybe You and Chewie will need to share the Triple bunk and she can take your triple, depends how long we take her, and how long she needs to recover.”

It wasn’t ideal as even though they were technically ‘communal’ Ben knew both Finn and the Wookie treated their bunk spaces like their own rooms, and with how hard he worked them, why shouldn’t they? He knew Finn in particular needed his own space after a life with the First Order.

“It would only be temporary.” He reassured. “And you could store some of your stuff in the bay, if you wanted.”

Another First Order hangover – Finn collected clothes. A _lot_ of clothes. Even though he wore Poe’s jacket over the same outfit virtually every day. He seemed to just like owning them, liked being able to exercise that choice.

_Actually…_

“Do you think you could pick out some stuff for Rey when we’re planet-side? I’ll give you the credits, and extra for the hassle.”

The ex-trooper smiled, liked that idea, being paid for something he would doubtless do anyway. “ _No_ problem. We’re still on track for Tarris by the way, ETA 48 hours, unless you wanted to do a run?”

Finn’s piloting skills were really coming along, Ben noted. Not surprising really – he had a sneaking suspicion the man was honing them to join the Resistance, under a certain rakish, extremely irritating (he thought) Commander.

_Commander Kiss Ass._

Whatever, _he_ didn’t have to sleep with him.

“No runs. We still have no idea why Kenobi was captured, or if anyone’s looking for her.” He paused. “You and Chewie will do the drop, I’ll need to stay on board for the duration.”

Finn raised a brow. “You sure Solo? You’ve been star-side for _weeks_. We could do shifts or something.”

But Ben shook his head, tapping the lightsaber strapped to his belt. “No. Rey wasn’t Skin trade. I’m pretty sure Kanjaklub iced her because of the Force, probably under FO instructions. Also pretty sure they won’t send in the Stormtroopers if they decide to go after her again.”

_The Knights._

Finn gulped, forehead beginning to moisten.

“ _Finn_ , calm down. Remember Luke defeated Vader and only lost a hand, and I’m _so_ much handsomer than him.”

_Plus the Knights have a weird cult-like obsession with me._

Finn snorted then, waved him off and muttered something along the lines of “a lot of that is the hair…”

_He’s jealous._

Still, the Knights were a worry. It kept him awake now actually, resisting the impulse to dive into Kenobi’s unconscious mind and rifle through it, check Snoke hadn’t settled in her also. After all, he just loved lonely children, and it was hard to imagine any child lonelier than Rey.

_You._

Yes _him_. A different sort of lonely to be sure, but no less damaging when a literal monster lives in your head. But he didn’t see himself in the girl, not yet anyway. She’d have darkness no doubt, but it wasn’t that moody, devouring kind that sometimes took him still, even now. Perhaps hers was better. Perhaps it was worse.

Whatever. He was tired and needed to sleep. He’d stop by Chewie for a status update and then _try_ somehow to rest, maybe on the lounge. It was a wonder Chewie had managed in his bunk all of these years, but he guessed the Wookie curled up more like a lloth-cat than a human. Kind of handy when you thought about it.

*Little cub.* Chewie growled in greeting.

_Hardly._

“Chewie, everything good to go? I’m going to try and catch some Zs.”

*You’re both from strong lines, your offspring would be strong.*

 _Not this._ Ben rolled his eyes.

“You said that about that girl from Nal Hutta who threw up on my shoes that time.” He said flatly.

*That was different. That was a lie. You were getting very grumpy, you needed to–*

No. Absolutely not.

“–Is. Everything. Good. To. Go.” He gritted out.

*And now you’re grumpy again. Everything’s fine. Try to sleep well, little Ben.*

 _Do. Or do not. There is no try._ He thought bitterly as he walked off.

“AND KEEP THAT GOSSIPY DROID AWAY FROM THE COMMS!”

Ben ignored the offended “well I _never_ ” that followed.

Though in truth, as he laid down on the couch, it had been a little time since he’d last been with someone. It wasn’t like he’d ever had any trouble, but he was no Han Solo either. No, he was preoccupied with other matters it seemed, and sometimes those one-night stands just made him lonelier afterwards, reminded him he was a rare breed in this world and even so he had rejected the only ones who could truly understand that. He would have _killed_ for a Rey Kenobi when he was her age, but of course, that was half the problem, was it not?

_Rey._

Kriff that kiss had been hot - it didn’t help that he found it hotter still that she was trying to pickpocket him, would probably have kicked his ass all the way back to Jakku if she was at full strength. Plus she looked downright _Darkside_ in his old grey tunic, hanging loosely off her and yet somehow it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. And that line at the end… Ben groaned, bit into the pillow. That had not been _fair_. It was absolutely cruel actually, but she was quite obviously off her head, and, Ben didn’t forget, _blind._ Literally.

Not that he was ugly, he knew. In his weaker days, when he was more insecure and not quite so compunctious with the Force, he’d basically realised his appearance sort of polarised women one way or another. That made things a lot easier actually, though he supposed an isolated scavenger from Jakku probably had little time for vanity regardless, even if despite that she was oh so very lovely herself.

_Good genes._

No. This was an absolutely ridiculous line of thinking. The girl was young, vulnerable and completely inappropriate as any kind of partner, sexual or otherwise. Had he not spent his whole life avoiding the Force? And now what - he wanted to get off with the powerful scion only other Force dynasty in known existence?

Because that always ended so well for everyone.

_You’re a fucking disaster Solo._

He definitely needed to get laid, which was damn brilliant timing considering he wouldn’t be going planet-side and was going to be stuck on this ship alone with her. Well, as soon as Finn and Chewie cleared out he’d ask Threepio for an in detail lecture on Hutt anatomy and courtship rituals, and stay the hell away from Kenobi’s mouth, or body, or her Force, or cute smile or…

_Nope. Hutts mating, Hutts mating._

Great. _Now_ he was absolutely going to have nightmares, for sure.


	5. Company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Carbonite:
> 
> Some normalcy returns to the Falcon, while Ben wrestles with his growing attraction to Rey.

When Rey awoke again, she felt a lot better.

She was still blind it seemed, but her head was no longer doing that strange floaty thing, and her muscles felt a lot better since–

_Ben Solo._

Once again she strained her mind, trying to sort linearity from chaos, fantasy from reality. Heat suffused her.

_Did we…?_

She had a faint memory, just as likely a dream. She remembered something about a dream, the sensation of large lips brushing hers. Rey flushed. Surely not. That seemed… unlikely. Unlikely as the man himself.

She should check that. Make sure _that_ at least had been real.

Rey searched out with the Force, brushed over two other lifeforms before he found _his_ , Ben Solo, undeniably. She felt a tug, a small reassurance, the Force equivalent of “I won’t be long.” Well, that wasn’t quite what she’d intended, but that would do, she supposed. Oh well, there wasn’t much to do in the meantime except wait, and after a time the door whooshed open.

“Morning Carbonite, care to have some breakfast…? Or dinner, actually.”

Rey smelt something then. Strange and spicy, meaty. Her stomach flipped as she walked over to the desk, his hand darting out to grab hers and steady her. Instinctively, she pulled hers away.

“…Sorry.” She murmured, Luke’s teachings in mind.

_Try to trust._

Once he sat down, her stomach flipped again, and she stiffened. Anxious.

_Too rich._

“Is– is everything OK?”

“Ican’teatthat.” She blurted.

A pause.

Ben tone was strained, irritation moderated. “I assure you it’s the absolute best–”

“–Then I can’t have it.” She interrupted. “Since Jakku, it’s… If I eat that it will make me sick.” She explained, embarrassed. “It’s too rich.”

She used to dream of trying everything, but hadn’t imagined how her stomach would cramp, how foreign and frankly disgusting different textures would feel on her tongue. Even at the Academy Luke had procured portions, and she flushed when she remembered the expressions of the other students as she ate. She hadn’t realised how many rules there would be.

But Ben spoke kindly. “I didn’t think... Jakku… you’d want…” She heard his fingers click, “Portions! Right?”

“Yes.” Her tone was astonished, but she heard him shift then.

“I’ll be right back.”

He rushed out then, and Rey was left alone with the meaty smell of… whatever it was. Shorty after, he returned, and placed a bowl in her hands.

“There.” He sounded pleased with himself. “The finest absolute garbage our ship has to offer”

_Portions._

She recognised the vaguely chemical smell as she heard him begin to dig into the other meal.

_Thank you._

Still, she waited politely.

She heard Ben pause his meal. “I know you’re hungry, Carbonite. Eat up.”

Rey nodded. “I’ll wait for you.” Her cheeks burned as she offered an explanation. “I’ve been told it’s… unpleasant to watch me eat while also eating.”

Of course, she had not been told that nearly so pleasantly. No even now she remember it, word for word: “Kriff Kenobi, Luke needs to teach you to eat first. That’s fucking disgusting.” She recalled a young man jeering to a chorus of laughter, all eyes sinking into her. Rey had eaten in her rooms after that, amazed as she had been before by how many new things she’d never known about there were to be ashamed of. For some reason, she didn’t want to repulse Ben too.

Aware of the silence, she spoke again. “I’ll wait.”

A sigh. “Kenobi, eat as messily as you want. I’ll be very, _very_ happy to help you clean you up after.” His voice lilted with humour, and... something else. It was captivatingly low.

Rey felt herself twitch as heat washed through her. Ben’s voice was unlike any she had heard before, and it affected her in a strange way. For an instant, she imagined a tongue trail from her chin and over her cheeks, but then she shoved the food in her mouth to distract herself.

Ben chuckled. “Atta girl.”

They sat in relative silence for a time, both eating until she heard his utensils clatter down, heard him groan as he stretched out, sated. She smacked her lips, still chewing. She heard a sharp intake of breath.

The smuggler spoke again. “Kenobi, whoever told you that nonsense was lying to you, you know. There’s absolutely no way that would put anyone off _anything_.”

Rey shook her head, heat rising to her ears. “There was no reason for him to lie.”

“Oh, I can think of at least one.” His tone was bemused.

Rey ignored him. She was finished, but she didn’t like the way Ben Solo’s presence was making her feel. Was he making fun of her? She sent out a probing tendril, but he brushed it away.

“Don’t do that.” His tone was slightly irritated.

_OK…_

They sat in almost unbearable silence for a moment, strange tension darting between them. She wondered why, mind flitting dangerously in between various possibilities. She had heard of Ben Solo before, Master Luke’s strongest student who ran away to be a smuggler, who turned his back on the Force. Rey had thought that didn’t sound right the first time she heard it, now she was sure. There was more to Ben Solo than met the eye, or intuition, as it were. She restrained her scavenger’s urge to touch him with her hands and know more.

Fortunately Ben spoke first. “How is your vision?”

“Better.” She responded, eager to end the lilt. “I think I can see outlines… maybe. Not really.”

“Good–  I’m afraid I don’t know enough about eyes to try and Force Heal you, but Threepio says you should recover soon… The question is what to do with you then.” Ben paused. “I could return you to the Academ–”

“NO.” Rey’s heart hammered. “I mean no. I don’t want to go back there. You can’t make me.” She stood up. “I won’t–”  

“ _Easy_ , Carbonite.” A chair leg squealed and he was there then, hand on her shoulder. “You’ll make yourself sick.” He murmured, light pressure lowering her back to her seat.

“I don–”

“Yes Kenobi, I think I’ve got the picture. You’re on the run.” There was a brief silence then, a tentativeness before he spoke. “Do you know why the FO is after you?”

_Huh?_

“I still don't really remember..." Rey searched her mind. "Don’t the FO want _all_ Jedi?”

Ben spoke, agreeing. “Yes, but they usually kill them though, don’t ice them in Carbonite. They wanted _you_.”

Rey shook her head. “No, no one’s ever wanted me.”

The words were out of her mouth before she realised what she’d said, what she meant. She felt shame infuse her them, clamped down on herself so that nothing leaked through to him. Mercifully though, it seemed he didn’t notice.

“Well, clearly _someone_ does. Maybe it’s just the Kenobi connection. The Knights get all gooey for Vader, makes sense they might have a similar attraction to your blood too.” Ben sighed. “But even so, the Academy is the safest place for–”

“–Let me work for you.” Rey spoke quickly. “I’m a good pilot and I can fix things. I’m _really_ good at fixing things.” Her tone sounded desperate, but she didn’t care. She _was_ desperate.

“Carbonite…” His tone sounded pained. “I–”

_No._

“–Then drop me on the nearest habitable planet. I’m not going back."

“Why, so you can get back to scavenging? _You_. A scavenger.”

His derision wounded her deeply for some reason, but Rey managed to somehow remain calm.

“You have no idea what you would do just to survive.” Rey felt small, her voice hissing yet soft before the son of the most prominent politician in the Galaxy _._

_Did you expect him to be any different?_

“No, that’s not what I–” Ben Solo let out a grunt of frustration. “Kriff Kenobi, do you seriously think I’m just going to drop you off on the nearest planet and _leave_ you?”

It was an expressive way of speech she knew, not personal. Still, it hurt. Rey stood up and looked away from where she knew his face to be, closed her eyes for a second to will away the burning sensation in the back of her throat.

“FUCK! Rey, fuck. I didn’t think. I didn’t mean–”

Rey nodded woodenly, his words echoing somewhere outside of her while she drowned in her own emotions, not crying but not quite in reality either. The Force drew around her like a shroud, only to be pierced by a hand touching her cheek.

~ _Don’t do that, please.~_ His voice soothed in her mind. ~ _I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.~_

He pulled her into him then, or perhaps she drew closer to him, head against his broad chest, familiar scent in her nostrils.

~ _Please don’t make me leave.~_ She begged, before speaking out loud. “If you take me there I’ll just leave again. I’ll never stop trying to escape that place.”

_Let me stay with you. Please don’t throw me away._

He stiffened slightly, strangled and exasperated breath issuing from his nostrils. “Force, this is so kriffing _typical._ Fine Kenobi, _fine_. No Academy, OK? You can stay here until we work this out and I promise not to drag you kicking and screaming if _you_ promise not to try some idiotic escape attempt.”

Rey was dumbfounded at his capitulation. Really? She had not expected it to be that easy. Actually, it was a little embarrassing now that her hand was inching towards his lightsaber. She hoped he wouldn’t–

“And _you_ need to promise to stop trying to rob me.” His hand once again grasped hers, voice lilting with humour.

Rey just nodded, small smile on her lips.

“OK, so we agree?” He let out a breath, setting her down in her seat once again, hand still lingering pleasantly on her knee. “I mean, fuck Kenobi, I get wanting to leave the Academy, but would it really be worse than the FO?”

_Probably not for you, no._

He’d probably been raised with the Force, with tutors, with parents, taking for granted all sorts of things she never knew. But when you’d spent a life moving constantly, death at your heels, it was near impossible to spend a day meditating, doing nothing. Near impossible to be condescended to, ordered around when before the only decider of your life had been you. Impossible to accept a life free from passion when you had ached so long for love. No, the Academy was not for her.

“Rey?” Ben questioned. “Please tell me I haven’t said yet another–”

“–I spent my entire life in an AT-AT with only a doll to talk to every night.” She interrupted. “But I’ve _never_ felt so lonely as I did at the Academy.”

She took a deep, calming breath, suddenly exhausted once more.

“I’m _never_ going back.”

She didn’t care if he laughed at her, mocked her.

But instead he sighed, tone gentle despite his words. “You’re _such_ a pain the ass, Carbonite, you know that?”

She opened her mouth, ready to fight him with her words, but the smuggler continued.

“But you’re right. People like you and I aren’t meant for places like that.”

There was a clatter as he rose to collect their plates and exit the room.

“Now get some rest. You need to recover as soon as possible now that I’m paying you.” A hand brushed her cheek, lingering, and for one bizarre moment Rey had the distinct impression that he would press his lips to her forehead.

The moment passed.

"Call me if you need anything, Carbonite." He murmured instead, voice low and close to her ear before the doors opened.

**_Whoosh._ **

For a time Rey just sat there, stunned. She knew her head should be buzzing with unasked questions but instead she was simply warm, brain fixating only on one aspect of the previous interaction.

_Ben Solo._

Rey was a pragmatist, not one for idle fantasy, especially after the Academy. And yet, as she made her way towards the fresher unit she couldn't help but allow herself smile.

Smuggling was going to suit her.

She was sure of it.

 

 


	6. Masters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Carbonite:
> 
> Ben is powerless to refuse Rey when she begs to join his crew, vowing never to return to the Jedi Academy.

_Stop that._ Ben admonished himself. _That’s the sweetest guy in the galaxy and you’re an asshole._

Besides, age and disposition wise, Rey was objectively far more suited to Finn, and Finn was better off with Rey than Poe. Unfortunately however life didn’t work that way, and he could no sooner change Finn than he could repress his attraction to Rey, but fuck it, when it came to the latter he was going to try his damndest anyway.

It wasn’t easy though, hurt him a little to watch Rey laugh at the ex-Trooper, to realise the circumstances of their childhoods probably meant he understood her strange mixture of shyness and ferocity far better than he ever would. It was thirty minutes into their meeting and they were already basically best friends.

“OK, hold still.” Finn spoke.

Rey raised her arms as Finn began to scan her, gathering measurements for her clothing. He’d just taken her on a charming little blind tour of the Falcon, leading her by her hand as he pointed out various features of the ship, as the far more knowledgeable (it turned out) Kenobi sweetly corrected him.

“Any colour preferences Rey?”

“No brown, no grey, no white.” She spoke seriously.

Jed robe colours. Ben quirked a smile at that.

“I like colour.” She added.

“Me too! Rey, you should totally visit the Chandrila – the outfits there are _so_ colourful. It’s where Ben was born.”

He reddened at that, no idea why. The fun upside of having the young woman aboard – feeling once again like a teenager and _hating_ it. Again.

But Rey nodded eagerly. “I want to see a green planet. I’ve heard trees can grow so big you can’t even reach your arms around them! And I want to see flowers, a _field_ of them!”

He felt a small pang then. How young she was, how inexperienced. And yet, not completely.

_You’ve probably seen more bodies than flowers._

Funny that she could still be so radiant in the Light, that her smile lit the room. He turned then, left them to it. He’d stayed to check the excitable trooper did not overwhelm Rey, did not undermine her recovery by overtaxing her. Clearly, there was no need to be concerned. It was hard to pull himself away though, miss experiencing how each new discovery delighted her.

_Carbonite._

Ben’s mind couldn’t help but see the parallels between her imprisonment in the substance and the Academy. It was almost cruel to keep someone like Rey chained to a code, not when she so clearly ached with curiosity and wonder at everything around her.

Stars, it was almost a _joke_ to rescue such a being from the desolation of Jakku only to place her in the sparse landscape of Arch-To, to eke out a primal stuffy existence among the Jedi.

Ben sighed and walked over to the comms unit.

*Hello Ben.*

“Hey Chewie, it’s time to comm him. Can you get me a channel?”

He dreaded this exchange, but couldn’t avoid it any longer.

*OK, it’s done. I’ll give you some privacy and introduce myself to your mate.* He teased.

“Chewie, if you pull that crap with her I swear…”

*Greet Luke on my behalf.*

But the call was already starting as the Wookie stalked off. Uncle Luke materialised on the screen.

“Ben. This is… unexpected.”

It was. He hadn’t called since he’d left the Academy, only seen his uncle on rare occasions since. They were not on the best of terms.

He ran his fingers though his hair. “Yes, well, I’ve picked up Rey Kenobi. I thought you should know.”

A tense silence followed.

“I see.” He paused. “Rey’s training is not complete. I know she didn’t leave here in ideal circumstances, but she must retu–”

“She’s not coming back.” He said flatly.

“You’re no Jedi Master, Ben Solo.”

That smarted, still, but Ben kept calm. Demonstrating weakness to Luke was never ideal, and there was always the off chance that if he really screwed this conversation up they’d have both Jedi and First Order hunting them.

“It’s not my decision.” He spoke tersely. “I _asked_ her to return, she refused. That’s the limit of what I can do – she’s not my prisoner.”

He didn’t add that he’d crumbled in seconds, didn’t add he nearly kissed her again, didn’t add that the idea of her belonging to his crew filled him with a kind of possessive satisfaction. That was not necessary to this conversation.

Luke let it drop, for now. “You’re using the Force again.”

Kriff him, of course he’d sensed that, damn Skywalker genes.

“Yes. I found her in Carbonite – it became necessary.”

“The two of you are among the most powerful Force users in the galaxy, Ben, and yet you are unpractised, and she unstable. You will be beacons to our enemies if you remain together. Worse, your similarities mean a bond may begin–”

Ben cut him off. “–My enemies track me already. If she wishes to stay I care very little.”

“Indeed. And I suppose you don’t care about any bond, about the effect this might have on the girl?” His uncle condescended.

_Fuck you._

Of course a Force Bond alarmed him. He’d felt the ease with which Kenobi’s mind sought his, melted into him rather than clattered against his thoughts. As if instead of short concentrated shards of thoughts through disparate minds it felt like they were on a dual shoreline, waves crashing pleasurably from either side, intermingling.

“I have a handle on any bond.” He spoke.

“So you’ve already felt it then. Ben you _must_ return her here. Even if it means holding her against her will, you must–”

“ _You_ allowed her to be shamed by others for her past. _You_ had her train with the _children_ , uncle. How must that have felt to a girl who fought every fucking day for her very existence, alone? That she was no better than a small child?” He paused, allowing himself to be carried by the anger. “And but now you want me to drag her back to you? How will that feel to her I wonder? Yet another person to let her down – because we both know betrayal is a path to the Lightside!” He spat.

This was always how it was with Luke. His rage peaking until he revealed something he had not intended to, like Kenobi’s thoughts, unspoken, leaking through the connection as their minds untangled.

_Fuck._

“You feel compassion for her, and you are not wrong – she’s had trouble integrating here… I failed her in that, I acknowledge.” He paused. “But you must extricate her from this. The Dark–”

“I’m hiring a second mate, uncle, not inducting her into a Sith Academy.” He paused. “In any case, it’s your precious damn Force that seems to have thrown her in _my_ path uncle – isn’t circumventing that decidedly _un_ -Jedi?”

“The force threw Padme in Anakin’s way.” Luke warned.

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, willing his anger to go away. That was the great thing about the Force, you really could twist it any damn way you pleased. Instead, he changed tack.

“Look uncle, I called as a courtesy. You want me to deliver Kenobi to you. She doesn’t want to come. That’s the end of it.”

“I can’t allow that Ben. I foresee Dark things down that path. The Jedi–”

“We didn’t _ask_ for this! She and I didn’t chose to have this power! But still you insist we have to be slaves to it our entire lives!”

Luke sighed. “Only Rey need return, you–”

But that did it. That. His casual disregard for his already damaged girl. He hadn’t even asked him about the Carbonite, hadn’t even considered how much the Academy might cost _her._ No, as long as the code was adhered to, who cared?

“REY KENOBI RETURNS OVER MY DEAD BODY.”

Silence.

“That very well may b–”

But Ben was done. He punched the monitor, broke it.

The Force was swirling around him then and he leaned down, fists curing around the control panel, fingers leaving small indents on the metal.

_Calm. Down._

_~How dare he. She’s YOURS. Lay siege to them. Destroy them all so she never need fear them again. Rule the galaxy, together.~_

Great. Voices, right on cue. Always there to prove his uncle right.

_FUCK. OFF._

_And fuck the Force._

He strolled out of the control room then, back to the main deck and…

_Kriff._

He could tell by the way everyone turned to him, even Rey, that at least part of his conversation had been audible from their position. He ran his fingered through his hair again then, kept his tone light.

“Sorry Chewie, didn’t get around to saying hello for you.” He turned to Finn. “Finn, please also pick up a new comms monitor. It seems the other one has broken suddenly.”

*Ben…*

“I suggest you guys head planet-side for now.” He took in another breath. “Also, new rule. Avoid the Jedi whenever possible.”

He could fell the misgiving crawling through both of them. It figured – they were used to him tearing the Falcon to shreds, this… _control_ was unusual and apparently creepy. Regardless the two crewmen scrambled to leave the ship, both muttering low goodbyes to Rey on their way. Finn hesitated for a second though, and the reason why _infuriated_ him.

“I just challenged the most powerful body of Force users in the galaxy over her, gunner.” He gritted it out, voice low and dangerous. “I think it’s clear I’m no enemy to _Rey Kenobi_.”

Finn nodded, leaving. Rey stood up.

_Rey._

~ _So beautiful. Take her. Your queen. Your destiny.~_

“Stay where you are Rey.”

She stopped, confused.

_Calm down. Don’t allow him to use this against you. Against her._

“You’re so _angry_.” Rey breathed, voice not scared but awed.

“Yes.” He breathed. “My uncle and I don’t have the best relationship.”

“I didn’t mean to cause a problem for your family, Ben. Perhaps you _should_ drop me planet-sid–”

**_Smash._ **

The Dejarik table. Chewie would _not_ be pleased. Rey jumped.

He couldn’t stop how low and ragged his voice was when he next spoke. “No.”

_Breathe._

“No we’re not doing that Rey. The Academy has no right to dictate our lives. We’re not slaves. You don’t want to go planet-side. _I_ don’t want you to go planet-side.”

Something about that sentence seemed to affect her, and she rushed forward to embrace him.

The rage melted off, as her Light touched him, nestled into his chest.

“No one’s ever done anything like that for me.” She whispered it like a prayer.

Another pang, he pushed it away.

“Yeah, well… I really need a third mate, Carbonite.”

Rey laughed, and he used the opportunity to extricate himself from her, still wary of her proximity even as his Force seemed to have rebalanced. It would be an especially bad idea to get entangled with her _now_.

_~Why not, she’s vulnerable. You’re her savoir. You know you can take whatever you want.~_

Yup. That settled it.

_Creepy voyeuristic Sith FUCK._

Cold fresher time.

He looked at Rey.

_Cold fresher time for the rest of my life._


	7. Mirrors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, let me know your thoughts. X
> 
> \- tiny

“ _OW_!”

Rey placed a finger in her mouth as a wire shorted beneath her hands. Chewie and Finn were out and she was just itching for something to do, with rewiring seeming the most obvious fix to satiate her wandering mind and stop her from obsessing over…

_Ben Solo._

Yes, Ben Solo who screamed at Master Skywalker over _her._ It seemed… surreal. No one at the Academy had ever done something like that, ever been so _angry._ Rey had been taught that emotions should be like the surface of a lake, still and untroubled, and yet as the depth of that emotion washed over her she wondered not for the first time whether it would truly be so awful to be submerged.

_The Dark._

It wasn’t that Rey did not understand the tales told at the Academy, more that she saw them differently. She understood that the meting out of justice required its enforcers to be reason-free from passion, but what of those that did _not_ enforce? It seemed to her that the Jedi always fell so dramatically not because they were Sith but because they were _Jedi_ – denying their emotions left them isolated and ashamed and when they could not control themselves it made them easy pickings for–

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

The comm.

Rey froze.

_Should I answer?_

Finn had replaced the monitor yesterday and she was currently feeling her way around the cockpit in a feeble attempt to ignore the sound.

_But what if it’s important?_

Rey sighed, patching the connection through.

“See Leia, I _told_ you he wouldn’t pick u–”

An older male voice. _Not_ Master Skywalker. _Good._

“Er... Hi?”

Rey flushed at her own idiotic greeting, realising how bizarre she must look. She was blindfolded now as her eyes neared perfect recovery – Threepio had informed her it was necessary to prevent damage from the light as her pupils contracted and adjusted. By rights she should have taken it off this morning, but she’d wanted to wait until–

“–Hi.” The replying voice sounded slightly shocked.

_Ok…_

What did she say now?

“Ben– the Captain is...” Rey trailed off. Might not be a smart move to say Ben’s location. “Um, sorry, can–?”

 “Oh _Princess!_ It is _good_ to see you! And Mr Solo, how _are_ you?” Fortunately, Threepio had sidled in.

Rey felt herself flush considerably.

_Ben’s parents. The General._

She found herself suddenly seized by the mad notion that they’d somehow be able to sense her infatuation over the comms and–

_Get a grip._

Yes. She needed to get a hold of herself.

Threepio continued. “I’m terribly sorry not to have returned your communications, Master Ben was quite adamant that he be the only one to receive them.”

_Quite adamant._

So she shouldn't have picked up. Rey felt somewhat concerned then, and it must have shown on her face because the voice she now knew to be Han’s reassured her.

“Don’t worry Kid, I have a feeling he’ll forgive you.”

Rey could’ve sworn she heard a wink. More blushing.

Leia spoke next. “Thanks Threepio.” A pause. “Rey, we met briefly a few years ago, if you recall.”

Rey nodded. Yes she recalled. It was one of the defining memories of her life. Leia had been kind, had hugged her like she was a long lost relative and served her tea.

“Yes. Yes General. I… should I wake up B– the Captain?”

“No Rey, I’m more interested in _you_ right now than my shockingly neglectful son.” The words were sharp, but she spoke them lovingly.

A wire shorted near Rey’s feet.

_Whoops._

“Oh! Give me a second…” Rey leaned down and satisfyingly ripped it out.

A choking sound from the monitor. “Kid, what the hell are you doing?”

Rey shrugged. “Rewiring?”

“Rewiring!” Han spluttered. “You can’t even _see_!”

“More like the person who wired it couldn’t see.” She muttered.

Leia barked a laugh.

“Lady Rey is recovering from Hibernation Sickness.” Threepio offered. “Master Ben found her encased in Carbonite.”

It was silent for a beat.

The General broke it. “Yes, my brother mentioned something along those lines. Listen Re–”

“–Carbonite! Tell me you did _not_ pick up that–” Ben strode into the room. “–comm. _Shit_.”

“ _Language_ Ben!” His mother admonished.

“‘Carbonite’ eh?” Han’s tone was teasing.

Rey flushed. “I should leave you to it–”

Ben’s arm pressed her back. “–Nice try Kenobi. You do the crime, you do the time.” He paused, tone changing to a comically syrupy one Rey had never heard before. “But actually mommy, we do have things to get t–”

But Leia exploded. “–DON’T TRY AND _‘MOMMY’_ ME! I JUST SPENT SEVEN HOURS DEESCALATING AN INTERGALACTIC INCIDENT BECAUSE OF YOU.”

“ _This is why we don’t pick up the comm_!” Ben hissed in her ear.

“DON’T YOU DARE BLAME REY FOR DOING THE RIGHT THING _BEN SOLO_.”

Ben sucked in a breath, and Rey could sense him physically react to the tone in which Leia said ‘Ben Solo’. She braced for an explosion, but it didn’t come.

“You’re so right.” Ben spoke.

_Huh?_

Ben sighed. “I’m sorry mom. I just wanted to give you some time to… _process_ before we talked. That's why I didn't answer your comms.” A pause. “ _I’ve missed_ _you_ , though, so much.”

It was so blatantly manipulative Rey would’ve laughed if she wasn’t sure the General was about to tear her son to shreds. But instead the older woman simply laughed.

“You are going to be the death of me. You and you father!” She paused. “Fine. To business then, but don't think this gets you off the hook!” She spoke warningly before her tone changed to one of calm indulgence. “Now...  _Rey_?” 

_Huh?_

This conversation was getting difficult to follow. Was Master Luke really her twin? Because the General was  _not_ a lake surface, not even close.

“Yes?”

“I have some things I need to assure myself of - are you currently being held captive by my son?”

That took Rey aback. “Um… no? I mean – _no_. I’m not.”

“Good. Are you remaining on the Millennium Falcon of your own free will?”

“I–”

But Ben interrupted. “–How would these questions establish that? Couldn’t I be threatening her, or using the Force?”

Leia sighed, exasperated. “ _Ben._ ”

Threepio interjected then. “I don’t _think_ the Lady Rey _is_ being held hostage, though I have noted an elevation in Master _Ben’s_ heart rate when–”

**_CLANG_ **

Threepio fell to the ground.

“Oh look he’s malfunctioned.” Ben spoke. “What a shame.”

Han chortled. Rey was certain she had to be on fire at this point.

Ben spoke again. “Yes, I get it - you need to tick the boxes. _Look._ Rey’s fine, _you_ can reassure the New Republic or whoever, and _we’ll_ get back to smuggl–er _freighting_. OK? OK. So–”

Leia interjected. “- _Ben_ , we still need to discuss- don’t you _dare_  HANG U–”

“–Ok, Iloveyoutoothanksforthehelp _bye_.”

Silence once more.

_Well that was… interesting._

Rey broke the silence. “So… they seem nice.”  

Ben laughed. “Kenobi, I leave you alone for two seconds and I find you ripping up my cockpit and ratting on me to my parents.”

“I wasn’t _ratting_! I–” She stopped.

Ben was _very_ close.

“Something wrong?” His low, decidedly _arrogant_ voice wrapped around her.

_Oh… kriff it._

Now was as good a time as any, and Rey reached her hand to the back of her head, releasing the blindfold.

“What are you–?”

She blinked a few times as he light rushed in, image gradually sharpening as she met his eyes. _His_ eyes. In focus, dark and beautiful.

_Ben Solo._

Rey’s eyes traced his angular features, both achingly familiar and yet devastatingly novel in the dim light. Something in her began to hurt, a visceral reaction, like the first time she had seen the ocean and her eyes stung.

_Beautiful._

“You can see me.” His voice sounded vaguely awed.

Rey nodded, breathless. His hands had moved now, one absently tracing her left brow, burning her.

“I–”

Words escaped her. He was unbelievably close now, expression inscrutable beyond any emotion but raw intensity. Ben’s breathing was heavy as he leaned in further, face almost–

“Cap– _BEN_! We’ve got trouble, the deal fell though and we need to…” Finn stopped dead in front of them, mouth agape. “…is this a bad time?”

A blaster shot hit the panel above them.

_Shit._

The moment broke. Shattered, actually, as both Rey and the smuggler separated with matching polarity.

Ben threw his lightsaber at her.

“Catch!”

She did. The smuggler smirked and cocked his blaster.

“Ready for this Carbonite?”

Rey deflected a blast from him, twisting gracefully as the saber ignited. Now it was her turn to sound arrogant.

~Are _you_?~


	8. Sharing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Thanks so much for the comments on the last chapter. I've had a lot of personal challenges lately so it sort of reminded/motivated me to remember to devote time to things I enjoy, like writing. 
> 
> \- tiny
> 
> P.S. To the SG fans, I promise I haven't given up on that fic. I'm just such a perfectionist, so it's been a bit of a struggle devoting time to it lately.

“So… Rey can really fight, huh?”

Finn spoke for the first time during breakfast and predictably brought up the topic Ben really didn’t feel like talking about. Instead he merely grunted in response. He’d never really been a morning person. Or evening person, really.

Still, Finn’s statement percolated.

Yes Rey could really fight. She could more than fight, both graceful and scrappy as she wielded Anakin’s lightsaber as though it was an extension of her own body. Ben had almost been shot, _twice_ , he was so distracted by her. Only the slightest of tells in her form gave away that she was out of her element, wide sweeps and aggressive thrusts which he recognised to be signatory of a staff-wielder. Still she was more than a match for the ill-fated mercenaries they dispatched – whatever they had expected, he doubted it was the sheer force of nature that was Rey Kenobi.

 _They never had a chance._ He mused.

“…and she’s staying.” Finn continued his thoughts.

Another curt nod.

Finn continued. “…and you’re sleeping together.”

**_SLAM._ **

Ben’s palm hit the table.

“We’re _not_ sleeping together.”

Finn’s eyebrow raised. “You’re sharing a bed.”

“On separate shifts.” Ben gritted out. “Separate. Shifts.”.

The smuggler sighed then, the events of yesterday still fresh in his mind.

It had been a moment of brilliance and madness – they’d set up her bunk a little after the fight, prepared everything ready to move and then she just… hadn’t. Of course, that was _his_ fault, he’d made some dumbass offhanded joke about her sleeping space and without realising she’d reached into his chest and… _annihilated_ him.

“Ah my luxurious apartments.” Yes, that had been the stupid line he’d said with mock nostalgia. “How I’ve missed you.”

It was not even a joke, just a fucking idiotic sarcastic… _whatever_ to break the tension. But Rey had smiled so earnestly, eyes taking in the room for the first time.

“That’s the largest bed I’ve ever seen.”

They were simple, casual words that tore him to shreds as his own mind threw up images from hers, that overturned AT-AT that he at first had not made sense of now slapped him, her life leaking through him, through the Force.

_That was her home… the wall, those marks were…_

Ben felt suddenly sick with guilt. Excepting the academy, this room was the meanest he’d ever had to inhabit, yet for her it actually _was_ luxurious…

“Stay.” He’d said, blurted almost as she’d bumped into him was a stack of her clothing. “You should stay, I mean– we’ll be on opposite shifts anyways, so it will be easier on Chewie and Finn if we just… share. You know, for them.” He babbled a little bit more, fairly unconvincingly (he’d thought), but she’d dutifully played along.

So now here they were, one day into a shift-schedule that he’d specifically set up to be diametrically opposed, Rey probably sleeping in his bed, or just about to as he and Finn took over.

_Ben Solo you are such a fucking–_

“…Captai– er… _Ben_?”

Ben jerked back into the present, staring at Finn.

“What?”

Finn gulped. “Um… I just asked whether you an Rey were going to do any shifts together?”

Ben sighed. “No.”

A pause. A very loaded pause.

“…Why not?”

Ben snapped. “Finn, do you miss the FO?”

“Huh– _no…_ Wha–?”

“–Because I’m trying to understand why you seem to be drafting an in-depth report on the life and times of Rey Kenobi! Just leave it alone!” He sighed, before muttering. “You read way too many holonovels.”

“ _You_ read them too!” Finn snapped back defensively.

Ben smirked. “Only the dirty bits.”

Finn went a very interesting shade of red, before counting on, tone offended. “Fine. What do I care? Don’t tell me what’s going on with you and Rey – I only told you everything about Poe, but I guess you’re too good for–”

“–It’s not that.” Ben massaged his temples, pushing down his frustration. “Finn, nothing’s going on because nothing _can_ go on, do you understand? Even if I wanted to, it’s…” He paused, eyes closed.

_I do want to._

“… it’s the stuff with the Knights isn’t it? You don’t want to drag Rey into all of that.” Finn spoke softly.

Ben nodded. “…I don’t know. Just, two Force users… it’s…” He sighed. “Please don’t make me talk about this.”

_I won’t talk about this._

Finn sighed. “Fine. Just be careful…” He paused, words measured. “I don’t think Rey’s as tough as she looks.”

They finished up breakfast in silence, old dynamic returning throughout the day as Ben used the ex-trooper’s life to distract from his own very disordered thoughts on the young woman currently in his room.

~ _Go to her_.~ That sinister yet ever present presence.

For a second, Ben indulged in that fantasy, of joining her, hands tracing up her face to curl in her hair as he pressed his lips to hers. She would wake then, stiffen for a second before sleepily pulling him towards her and he would allow one hand to steal under her clothing, chuckle as he watched her writhe, his name on her lips as he teased, only to–

_NO._

No. He needed to get a hold of himself. Whatever Rey was, whatever their connection, the interest of the voices in their relationship meant she needed to be firmly _off limits_. He couldn’t allow himself to even get into the same position he had been in at the Academy, couldn’t ever lose control like that again. Rey’s Force called to him, and that in and of itself was enough to know he shouldn’t get entangled, if not for him, then for her.

_She’s 20, Solo. She has no idea what the fuck she wants, because if she did then she wouldn’t want you._

And yet even during the swapover he couldn’t _stop_ himself from fliting with her, from reacting to her as she sauntered past him.

“Morning! Or night… I suppose.” She joked, eyes bright.

Rey’s smile was easy and enrapturing, both open and cheeky at the same time. Adorable, actually. Yes, that was the word.

_I’m so fucked._

Still, he tried to stay above water.

“Carbonite, _what_ are you wearing?”

It was a fair question, Rey’s attire was… colourful. Even on Chandrila Ben couldn’t recall ever seeing _that_ particular shade of fluorescent green.

Rey eyes narrowed. “It’s green. I like green.”

“You look like a lightsaber.” He teased.

 “A _green_ lightsaber. The _best_ colour lightsaber.”

“Three guesses what colour your saber staff was then.” Ben smirked.

Rey gave him a slightly shocked look and he laughed.

“No, I haven’t been in your mind.” He paused. “You swung Anakin’s saber so wide I thought you we going to pitch it halfway down the Falcon.”

_You were incredible._

Rey rolled her eyes. “You’re just jealous that it calls to me more than you.”

Ben became aware then that she was _very_ close to him, or rather, that _he_ was very close to _her_. Because he’d been the one to close the gap. Because of course he had.

_Leave. Now._

“You just keep telling yourself that, and try not to crash my ship.”

He arched away from her and keyed in his code, winking.

“Goodnight, Carbonite.”

And with that he was alone. In his room.

 _Their_ room.

Ben glanced around. It looked unchanged, except that Rey had perfectly made the bed in a style he eerily recalled from his time at the Academy. Well, he hoped she wouldn’t expect the same from him, because what was the point of making it if you were just going to mess it up again?

As he stripped his clothes, Ben surveyed the rest of the room. It looked fairly untouched – some of Rey’s new clothes hung in the space he’d cleared for her, but aside from that she had few belongings. Some toiletries that Fin has been thoughtful enough to pick up also sat neatly in a small caddy, and Ben could sense Rey had gone through and taken inventory of the contents of the room.

_Can take the girl out of the desert…_

He wasn’t offended. He hadn’t told her not to, but Ben supposed even if he had it would’ve made little difference. He’d watched her strip the gear from their attackers with almost cold efficiency, and he’d seen Finn realise before he had that this was a practised ritual for her. Of course it was. He wondered then what else had she had to do, just to survive?

_Who are you, Rey Kenobi?_

But Ben’s thoughts began to drift as soon as his head hit the pillow, a pleasant vaguely jasmine scent hitting his nostrils. For a time, he fell asleep.

But then alarm flooded his senses.

_Rey._

Sure enough her thoughts inundated his mind. _~BEN! Ben – are you awake?~_

~ _I am now_.~ He quested out to her. _~What’s wrong?~_

 _~This. I– on the datapad– ~_ Her thoughts were a mess, panicky as she composed herself. _~What year is it?~_

_~Huh, Re–~_

She burst in, datapad in hand.

“What year!?!”

Ben felt alarmed. “34 ABY, about 10 standard months in...” He paused. “Why?”

Silence. He could feel that Rey was stunned. She sat on the edge of the bed.

“Rey?”

“I thought it was _33_.” Her voice was quiet. “I’m missing a whole year.”

For a second, Ben Solo’s brain did not work. Then it did.

_Shit._


	9. Luxuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses, but your comments always bring me back. 
> 
> \- tiny

_Kriff this._

Rey was in a foul mood.

Her head seared, and her disposition had soured at about the fifth hour of Ben’s invasive probing of her mind.

“Can you _stay still_?” Ben snapped.

“You’re _hurting_ me!”

She could hear how childish her voice sounded. She didn’t care. He _was_ hurting her. She jolted from his touch.

“ _Rey_!” Ben admonished in frustration, reaching for her cheek again.

“NO!” Rey jerked away. “Tell me what you’re looking for!”

Her nerves were shot, her Force was shot, her heart was _shot._ It was too much, too much to have him rifle though her mind like junkyard scrap, so much effort to hoard all of her most vulnerable moments behind a thin wall while on the other side she felt nothing, _nothing_ , from him. No, Ben was cold and methodical, and that more than anything upset her.

“Just once more.” Ben spoke, an edge of frustration to his voice.

The intrusion was sudden, too sudden that all of her thoughts were scattered everywhere, not packed neatly away and shelved that he might pass over them in his search for… whatever he was bloody looking for.

Sure enough, Ben paused, lingering over thoughts she did _not_ want him to linger over. Thoughts about _him_. Mortification bloomed, and unthinkingly Rey pushed back against his mind, but it didn’t work – instead of pushing him out she found herself pushing _in_.

Instantly Rey was assaulted with a rush of images that were not her own. A man in a mask, cold and bloody as he walked purposefully in a forest, his monstrosity of a saber crackling and whining in its instability. The vision blurred for a second, and Rey felt her skin prickle with insidious power as the _creature_ advance towards _her_ as if somehow she were there and not _here_ , wherever that was. But she found she was not frightened, not even close. She was excited, curious even, as the dark figure’s hand moved to unclasp the mask.

 **_Click_ ** _._

“ _Rey_.”

She flinched.

It was Ben. His face inches from hers, brow and chest glistening with sweat as his expression shifted from one of awe to fear in an instant, almost too quick to discern.

“What did you see?” He breathed.

“I…”

Rey noticed her hands then, clasping his shoulders as his rested on her upper thighs as she knelt. They were _very_ close.

“Rey?”

“Nothing.” She lied, though she didn’t know why. “It was blurry, hazy. More like a feeling.”

“ _What_ feeling?”

Again, Ben’s voice was soft yet slightly tense.

“I don’t know, exactly. It wasn’t… bad. Almost– almost like I _should_ be scared, but I… wasn’t.” She blurted.

For split second, she saw shock cross his features.

“Was I in your–?”

“– _Your_ mind is empty.” Ben cut her off. “Someone’s wiped your memory completely. I thought…” He paused. “There are… _tales_ of foreign Force presences in people’s minds, compulsions…”

Rey felt the panic crash over her. Master Luke had warned them of that, of the few Jedi who had defected years earlier, who became so mad they could not distinguish their minds from those of the ancient beings that whispered great and terrible promises to them. They had committed... _atrocities_.  Things beyond the Darkside, not passion and emotion but death and sadism and destruction and there was _no_ escape.

They were the Merged, the most elite soldiers of the First Order, and they were to be put down if ever come across,  _if_  they could be put down.

_Monsters._

“But I don’t have that.” She stammered.

“No.”

Ben's expression was odd, strangely tight. 

“But… I can’t have been in Carbonite for a year.”

“No.” He confirmed.

“Then why–?”

“I don’t know.”

So she’d lost a year to the FO and still no explanation, no _memory._

Rey’s head seared. “Did Master Luke…?”                  

Ben’s mouth twitched in irritation. “He mentioned nothing.”

Her heart fell. She had been missing for that long and no one had even thought to find her? Then again, why would they have? Just like Jakku, just like–

“– _Rey._ ” Ben’s hand was on her cheek. “Rey, he didn’t know. He can’t have. Unc– _Luke_ is many things, but he sure as shit would not have allowed you to be in the hands of the FO.”

Rey nodded woodenly, and Ben let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry if I’m– I know I haven’t… I _hate_ using the Force Rey, it puts me on edge. You’ve no idea how much it has _fucked_ my life. The idea that it might be… I mean, shit Kenobi, you scared me.”

Rey felt a tear roll down her cheek before she even understood what was happening, but she just felt… _empty._ Desolate.

_You scared me._

Just like her parents, just like Luke. Her head pounded and Rey closed her eyes, trying to clear the sensation and make sense of her jumbled thoughts.

“You OK, Carbonite?”

“My head hurts.” Rey mumbled.

It kriffing killed, actually, reminded her of the time her stuff had been crunched under a Happabore and she’d traded her goggles for portions.

_So stupid._

Rey let the memory wash over her, closing her eyes to ease some of the tension in her forehead.

It had been no sooner than one day after that she could not move for vomiting, could barely _think._ She should have just forgone food for a little longer, but she’d been young and still figuring that she only needed one more day, just one more until her family came.

She’d been lucky Plutt had taken pity on her, _so_ very luck–

“–That’s not fucking _lucky_ Rey. That’s…”

Rey’s eyes shot open.

_Rage._

Very intense rage.

_Ben's rage._

It was enthralling to watch him, the tension in his face, his agitation as he tried and failed to master his anger, his cheat rising with deep breaths.

“I’m, sorry.” He bit out. “ _Sorry_. It’s hard to unravel from…”

She knew what he meant, his mind was open to hers now too, the intensity of his emotions caressing her - anger, guilt, _shame._ Shame that he still couldn’t control his emotions, that she should bear witness to this, weakness this–

Ben moved to get up.

“ _Don’t_.”

Her hand connected with his chest, stopping him though there was no force to her touch, his skin hot under her palm.

“I don’t mind.” She blurted.

Quite the opposite in fact. The strength of his reaction was heady, like a strange drug, an energy pulsing through her as she basked in its intensity. He felt things so… _deeply_ and it reverberated in the Force like a bell, calling to her.

“Rey…”

His voice was low, almost purring, and Rey resisted the urge to apply pressure through her hands, to simply push him down and clamour over him, but her head still pounded despite the thrumming, her thoughts were jumbled. Instead, she leaned back, breaking the contact.

It almost felt like something within her growled. It was strange this sensation rolling off him, power tingling over her skin.

“Is that… the _Dark_?”

It was unlike anything she had experienced before.

Ben was silent for a second, his gaze assessing. “Never been angry, Kenobi?”

Rey averted her eyes from him and studied her hands, gently shoring up her mind as she explored that thought, because the answer was _no_ , actually _._ No, she hadn’t been angry. Not like _that_.

It was Jakku. You panicked, you died. You got too mad, you died. You got too sad, you died.

Of course she’d _seen_ it, maybe once, twice. Scavengers who couldn’t let it go, who got caught up in the unfairness of it, the unjustness, who let bitterness eat at them until it ruined them, affected their ability to scavenge. They called it Sunset’s Curse (the opposite of Beginner’s Luck) -  when one bad day stacked on the other until it was an unwinnable streak, until they were desiccated corpses in the sand.

Rey had been lonely, yes, _so_ lonely. But that hadn’t been the same as feeling as drowning in emotion. It was more like falling, like numbness. Those few times she’d cried in those days had been an indulgence, a release, a–

_Luxury._

Yes. That was it. Luxury. Emotion has always been locked away from her, first because it was impractical, then un-Jedilike and _now_ …

_Now what?_

Her mind raced. Perhaps she hadn’t been captured by the First Order at all. Perhaps she’d sought them out even. After all, she couldn’t remember anything, not really. Perhaps she had chased this intoxicating feeling, had–

“You think very loudly, Carbonite.” Ben murmured.

There was that warmth again, tingling down her skin to settle in her abdomen as she felt Ben’s fingers scrape down her scalp, easing the tension in her temples.

“They _meant_ for you to find me.” She whispered, giving voice to her guilt, even as the sensation of his fingers began to lull her into calm.

“I know.”

It was almost like she was floating, with this strange pleasurable humming that seemed to overtake her whenever they physically touched. For a while she gave into it, breathing slowing as her eyes began to close. It was a strange experience, to be touched like this. It felt very intimate, but Rey supposed she was probably a poor judge of that.

“It’s probably smarter for me _not_ to be on the Falcon.” She mumbled.

“Probably.”

Ben agreed, shifting them downwards so they lay flat on the bed, his arms around her as Rey felt herself begin to drift off, her headache beginning to abate with light pressure on her forehead.  

“…But I’ve never claimed to be very smart.”


	10. Mind Games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys rock. X
> 
> \- tiny

_Mmmmmmm…_

The fresher felt nice today, _very_ nice, and Rey let the water jet languorously down her back and soothe the ache from being crouched underneath the panels all day. She began to stretch after a time, hands running from her thighs to her calves, massaging her pinking flesh to relieve the daily tension settled in her muscles. It felt good, sensual even – bathing still a novelty even all these years after leaving Jakku and the cold lake of the Academy. Indeed, neither compared to _this_ , and she relished being able to be clean every night, free to work a messily as possible knowing that at the end of the shift she’d be new - a clean surface not marred by the passing of each day, except for...

_Is that grease?_

She’d been so focused on her legs and simpering reverie that she hadn’t even noticed the large blotch of mechanic’s oil all over her chest.

_Great._

She should probably attend to that, maybe with whatever was in that obnoxious looking bottle Finn had given her. He’d sworn by it (but then, he swore by everything non-FO issue), but she’d simply left it there, content with Ben’s fare until this moment. But today she sort of felt in the mood to try it, to indulge, and soon enough the pink liquid was fizzling on her skin. For a second Rey had the irrational feeling that it might be some kind of acid, alarm flooding her, but instead the sensation leveled off, pleasingly dissolving on her body as it soaped up, leaving eager gooseflesh in its wake.

She shivered. It felt nice.

Ok, so maybe Finn was onto something with this ‘pampering’, but Rey was still mindful of her objective, stroking her fingers over her chest to work on the stain, working up a lather and massaging her breasts so that–

*- _Ben?_ _BEN!*_

_Wha–?_

*Are you OK?*

The sound of Chewbacca’s concerned whine jolted Ben into the present, his knuckles white against the controls.

_This is torture. I am being tortured._

“Headache.” He gritted out.

A beat of silence.

*Rey gets those a lot too.*

Unfortunately Chewie was being totally fucking sincere, which was a damn shame because he very much wanted to lash out right now, pent up frustration well past boiling point, but he couldn’t even do that anymore because…

_It excites her._

He hadn’t been sure of that, at first, and it certainly would not have been obvious to anyone not currently in partial residence in her mind, but it was an undeniable truth: Rey’s light called to his Dark, and definitely _not_ in a good ol’ fashioned Epics of the Old Republic kind of way.

And that excited _him_ , kriff it, because he was fucking trash. It was strangely validating not to be met with fear or concern any time his control so much as slightly slipped. In fact, it was the most convincing sell for the Dark Side yet… well, that and the whole not-having-to-be-abstinent thing.

Ben had a feeling Sith culture would have died a long death eons ago had the Jedi loosened up _that_ rule.

Still, Rey’s… _sensibilities_ did not bode well, both in terms of his little Ancient Sith Lord issue and his now heavily fraying self-control.

He looked to the Wookie, trying to wrench himself away from the Sarlacc Pitt of his thoughts.

*You seem distracted. Perhaps you should train with Rey–*

“–Chewie…” Ben’s tone was pained. “Just _don’t._ ”

Predictably, his plea went ignored, though mercifully with a different tack. *I think you need to go planet-side this stop… we have the credits, now.* Chewie’s tone was slightly bemused.

Yes, that had been a recent development, with Rey revealing some ruthless multi-lingual negotiating skills during their last drop, having concealed her apparent fluency in Aqualish until the last possible moment to net them an unbelievable profit. The move had been so ballsy it had prompted their contact ask him after the transaction whether or not Ben would consider selling his ‘wife’ for more credits, which he’d obviously outright refused to entertain.

But that had not stopped Rey bemusedly touching upon his mind later, her voice lilting alluringly low with humour.

_~You should have sold me - you could have stolen me back.~_

_~That’s what my last wife said.~_ He joked.

A pause. For a moment Ben had wondered whether she had taken the jest for the truth.

~ _If she actually was your wife, then she may have legitimately have wanted another husband.~_

He’d laughed then, lost it for a moment while Finn, shift-swapped, had flinched and regarded him with a slightly perturbed expression.

~ _He couldn’t afford you, Carbonite.~_

Ben shook his head at the memory, the strange heat that had passed over their personal channel. He’d all but given up not using the Force to communicate with her like that, although when he could he tried to use the datapad instead, tried to limit their face to face contact where he couldn’t _help_ but flirt with her, enjoyed the confident snarking that was so often buried beneath everything that had passed before her time here, enjoyed not having to bury _himself_ , for once.

And really, was that so bad?

_Yes actually._

Right. It was.

Worse than that because he was not noble, not some brave bastion against the rising Dark. He hid because he _was_ tempted, resisted the call to the Dark not because he knew it was wrong, but because it was _right._ He’d somehow chanced it that day, somehow vaulted his fate in an incredible upset. But it wasn’t victory, just… a delay.

_The House always wins._

_~You suffer without cause, Ben Solo. Living a petty life of silent abstention, pettier even than your father.~_

Ben rolled his eyes.

_See, that’s the kind of low blow that makes me feel like you don’t have my best interests at heart._

Oh, but the jab had stung, though he drowned the sensation before it could filter back and nourish itself.

_~Kylo R –_

_-NOPE._

It was effort, a wasted effort ultimately, but Ben focused his Force on narrowing the abstract abyss, the foul parasitic maw that resided within until he was alone once more.

Temporarily.

 _I’m never alone._ The thought was bitter, though that too he ushered away.

His mind was like a Hapan puzzle box now, shielded and shielded again, one layer projecting false thoughts of disdain and disgust regarding Kenobi to the Voices, another open and pristine for Rey and so many more churning beneath – the jumbled, roiling, chaotic mess of a human being that was _Ben fucking Solo._

Yet it had been effective, yet extremely taxing, and he could only comfort himself that now the Sith had reverted to their usual refrain of ‘ _Power, Legacies, Fortune_ ’ rather than the previous ‘ _Rey, Rey, Rey_ ’.

 _That_ at least, had been a relief.

_They were fishing._

It had seemed like a constant deluge to him, but to them it was still all a guessing game, clutching at thinnest of threads, the barest of emotions seeping through or discarded, with little to no context except that he’d suddenly begun to use the Force again. But even so, it only took the smallest slip to fall very, _very_ far, and he could see the strain it had on Rey too, her hurt confusion when she detected the barest hint of his false-hostility, his _show_ that was not intended for her.

_You’re in SO over your head Solo._

It was true, and if it wasn’t for the fact that it was _his_ , then he’d probably have laughed at how almost clichély reminiscent of an Old Republic style tragedy his life had become, trapped in between a half-truth, recalling the disgusted timbre of Rey’s thoughts when he had briefly mentioned the notion of… _guests_ in her mind. But even so, he supposed that was better than the alternative because it didn’t take a Jedi Master to see that Rey was almost absurdly predisposed to the particular manipulations of the Sith.

_And yet…_

Not for the first time Ben wondered at her presence. Why the FO hadn’t seized on that weakness, why  hadn’t they–  

*-Ben?*

_Fuck._

Distracted. _Again._

“Sorry.” Ben grunted as he ran his fingers through his hair. “’Lot on my mind.”

_Understatement of the age._

He took a deep breath through his nostrils, trying to center himself and recall where he had left the conversation. Something about a run? No – going planet-side. _That_ was it.

Ben cleared his throat. “Yeah, you’re right… we need to stretch our legs. Somewhere nice this time though– well, _nicer_. But everyone sleeps on the Falcon, I’ll pay the higher docking fees, just no rented rooms.”

His fingers ghosted over the saber attached on his belt. 

Chewie shrugged. *Suits me. I need to barter for more medical supplies anyway. Your mate is still recovering.*

Ben nodded. He’d noticed that too, though Rey was not one to ever complain, so thoroughly toughened was she by Jakku that hardship was her norm, not an exception. Of course, it meant she was ludicrously easy to please, and he noted she whiled away the empty hours on her shift excitedly tinkering with and taking inventory of the Falcon as if it were the most enthralling thing in the galaxy. A part of him wanted very much to take her to Coruscant, or to the family estate so she could experience so much more than what she had been given. But he’d dismiss the thought almost instantly, both for its ludicrousness and because he sensed practically that, like him, Rey would instantly see through it all, and the largess and waste would disgust rather than amaze her. Well, except for the baths, surely she’d–

_No._

That was quite enough of that.

“We all need a break.” He agreed hastily, eager to distract from the fact that he was once again caught between multiple threads. “Much as it pains me to finally have to pay everyone.”

*I think Rey won’t be as easily felled as Finn* Chewie mused.

Ben snorted. It was tradition for the newest crewmember to blow their entire first pay – a Huttese piracy custom that had a much darker origin of indentured servitude, though Ben much preferred the usual iteration of everyone getting shitfaced. Of course, Finn had been such a lightweight, which probably explained why he seemed to think Poe was so much more attractive than he objectively was – the ‘Best Pilot of the Resistance’ was always quick to offer the man a drink.

Then again, he’d already had a taste of what a drunk Rey might be like, quite literally…

“Uh, actually, we probably shouldn’t get her too drunk – if she’s recovering.” Ben blurted.

For a moment, Chewie gave him a long, assessing look and Ben felt the heat in his cheeks rise.

*You take after your sire.* He paused. *Be careful young one, you carry far too much alone.*

He rolled his eyes. “Aaaand with that non-sequitur, I’m going to update our manifests – fraudulently, of course, as an homage to my ‘sire’.” He bowed dramatically, playing the Wookie’s remark off, though the irony of avoiding the situation with humour was not lost on him.

_Kriffing genes._

Chewie growled in response, but Ben was already on his way over to the main deck, only to find Finn and Rey curled up on the couch under a blanket, pouring over their latest holovid.

“ _Finn_!”

Rey’s hair was still wet, curled up into a makeshift bun and she was giggling maniacally while Finn covered his eyes his legs kicking Rey as he seemingly tried to merge with the couch. It was not an uncommon sight, ‘Holo Night’, and the two crewmembers' easy companionship warmed him, though it also ushered in a sharp pang.

_I want that._

And yet he hardly had any right. Their friendship was an almost saccharin medley of firsts, from trying various foods together, to listening to music, to risky flying to just generally goofing off without having struggle or obey every second of the day. Even now, something so mundane as curling up and watching a holo was still a novelty, though with the shit they watched that would probably end soon.

_Where does he even get that old crap from?_

Ben hoped fervently that wherever it was, Han had had the decency to sanitise his stash of the less… family friendly titles. Having ‘the Talk’ once with the ex-Trooper was still one time too many, and he did _not_ relish having the same experience with Rey…

At least not in so many words.

 _“-_ OW _– Finn!”_

Rey elbowed her shift-mate then, who now looked to be stealing the entire blanket in an attempt to somehow make himself disappear, clearly unenamoured with tonight’s content.

“It’s just an empty ship – it’s not even _scary_.” The young woman teased. “You killed a Rathtar last month – an _actual_ monster.”

“-It’s not that, it’s the _tension_! I mean _whywouldyousplitupinthatsituation_!?!” He took a breath. “It’s FO basic training – _don’t split up_! Seriously Rey, if you tried that on me I’d grab hold of your leg and you’d have to _drag me down the corridor_ , I’d _mesh tape_ myself on, because I am not– what just happened? _WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?!?!”_

The ex-Trooper shrieked as he flinched violently away from the projection, which Ben guessed fairly easily was showing some kind of thriller.

Finn let out a small yip at the action on the screen before continuing.

“Listen Peanut, _I get it_ – you’re a badass Jedi and that’s super cool, but please, _PLEASE_ can’t we just watch that nice Nabooan series we started the other day?” Finn’s tone was pleading, close to begging. “You know, with the beautiful people and nice décor and lovely clothes and not you know, so much… _bloodandscreamsandterror_?” He squeaked. “Remember? With the trees? _You_ liked the trees, _I_ liked the trees… _WE ALL LIKED THE TREES,_ REY…”

A pause.

 _Rey_?” Finn squeaked.

Rey let out a dramatic sigh.

“ _Fine._ ” The corners her lips twitched with amusement as she deactivated the playback.

“But activate Threepio – he’ll short if he misses an episode.” She yawned. “I’m going doing forms though, my head hurts from all your screaming.”

“Pitched yelling Peanut, not screaming – _pitched yelling_.”

Rey snorted. “Whatever.”

They both rose, Finn traipsing away to find the droid while Rey’s eyes settled on Ben, and in turn he raised an eyebrow at the worktable, the datapad illuminating his fingers. Her outfit was once again a uniquely _Rey_ blend of adorably heinous primary hues.

 _That needs to be seriously toned down when we go planet-side._ Ben made a mental note.

Nobly, he resisted the urge to–

“Kenobi, those colours clash more than my parents on Remembrance Day.”

-Actually, scratch that - he went for it, unable to help himself.

Rey snorted, taking the bait. “And what should I be wearing, just _an armguard_? Because that makes sense”

Ben smirked. “I would have absolutely _no_ problems with you wearing just an armguard Carbonite. _None_.”

_Stop. Fucking. Flirting._

But Rey just rolled her eyes, a light yet delectable flush creeping up her neck as she reached a hand to him to retrieve Anakin’s lightsaber, her original objective still in mind. He gave the weapon to her, eyes trained on her point of exit for some time before he heard a characteristic whoosh and was jolted out of his brief reverie.

_Forms._

Ben’s mood was abruptly muted. He couldn’t stop her using the Force, but a part of him wished she would, or at least cease _that_ aspect of her routine. It reminded him too much of the Academy when he’d observed her the first time, her unmastered movements beautiful for that very fact, for that naïve peace. Through watching her it the Force had tasted like a memory, brought _back_ memories that…

_No. Don’t go there._

Ben swallowed and refocused on the datapad. He had watched her once. He would not watch her again.

Some things were best left undisturbed.


End file.
